Fwd: Processes: Shall we go for a drink?

The diagram demonstrates the process in a female and male brain during the simple question: "Shall we go for a drink?"

netwala: SpiceJet: Happy Hours- Book for two pay for one! http://tinyurl.com/7hs749

Fwd: A Tribute to the Professors of India

Not all professors of course), on their usage of English

# Inside the Class:

• Both of u three, get out of the class.
• (Facing the Board) Dont talk in front of my back.
• Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
• Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
• Shhh... quiet, boys... the principal just passed away in the corridor.
• You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class...)
• Close the doors of the windows please... I have winter in my nose today.
• Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.
• Take 5cm wire of any length.
• shhh... quite, the principal is rotating in the school.

About his family:

• I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)

At the ground:

• All of you, stand in a straight circle.
• There is no wind in the ball.

To a boy, angrily:

• I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

Giving a punishment:

• You, rotate the ground four times...
• You, go and under-stand the tree...
• You three of you, stand together separately.
• Why are you late - say YES or NO... (?)

Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. 
So the next day at school (to that boy):"Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre

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Fwd: Honorable MEN

If a female is reading this article then just realize the value of a
man; and if its a male then feel proud of after reading it!

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a
river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord
appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he
needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe.
"Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your
axe?" the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your
axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three
axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the
riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the
Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is
this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a
misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You
would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you
would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would
have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to
take care
of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and
honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's the story, and they are sticking to it! - "WE ARE HONORABLE MEN!!!!!!"

"Love all, trust a few." - Shakespeare

Fwd: Office exercises to avoid sleepiness

 

 

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As a warm up, let's do some  Tai Chi..	Follow like this to ease your   neck & shoulder pain	Wa..wa.. aaa	Move to the right   and then to the  left
After that, move to the left   and then to the  right	Just follow. Don't force yourself to  do 360 degrees, 180 degreeswill do. Bend  down a bit like you gonna faint. Repeat a few times  till you're bored	Grab anything on your desk  and smash your head hard. If you are still sleepy smash harder	After that move your feet and swing your  body a bit like this. Do it like it's nobody's business and remember to  smile
Move your feet and body  just a bit like this.... Do it like there's no problem at  all...	And now more  aggressive! Don't bother about what others say	Let go of all your  stress...	If your boss ask what you  are doing, move your head slowly like this and tell them you're dying in  the office
When your boss walked off,  get your colleague to join you and move your body like this. The more the  merrier...	Finally, dance like a  cat

If you are  still sleepy despite all these, just grab your small pillow and sleep under your  desk.
Advice: Do This At Your Own  Risk    
Have  an awesome day!!  

Fwd: YEAR-09' begins...

A Thought TO START YOUR YEAR-09' with...

Powerful idea: the beautiful thing about being in the unknown is
everything is possible.

You just received a giant gift: a fresh, virgin new year - utterly
open to it being made into anything you choose it to become. Forget
the doomsayers. Block out the fear-mongers. Shout down those voices of
mediocrity encouraging you to play small with your days amidst the
dramatic changes in our world. This is a time to dream, to shine - to
lead.

It's a great time to be alive - regardless of how bad your life might
appear (things always get better don't they?).

You just got 12 fresh months (I needed to repeat that because it's
such an inspiring thought to me). Some amongst us don't have that
time. You do. You are blessed.

So what will you do with 2009? Will you spend it wisely - reaching for
excellence and outright greatness, regardless of where you work and
who you are? Will this year be the year you leave behind all your
victim stories about why you can't be in world-class health and lead
in your field at work and love your family like there's no tomorrow?
Will this year be the year you have the courage to catch a glimpse of
how extraordinary you are and then assume the personal responsibility
to let that talent see the light of day? And will this new year be the
12 months that you give back to the world, by lifting others up and by
being honest, ethical and downright good?

Just wondering. Because the clock is ticking. And this very moment is
a fine time to begin.

Fwd: Am I with the right partner?

During a seminar, a woman asked," How do I know if I am with the right
person?" the author then noticed that there was a large man sitting
next to her so he said, "It depends. Is that your partner?" In all
seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this
question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind
replied the author. Here's the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle...In the beginning; you fall in love
with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and
like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn't hard. In fact, it
was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have
to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Picture the
expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing
nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a
passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of
being together, the euphoria of love fades. It's a natural cycle of
EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if
they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and
your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will
notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were
in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this
point, you and/or your partner might start asking, "Am I with the
right person?" And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once
had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This
is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right
person; it's learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for
fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a
hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the
answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies
within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone
else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in
the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to
this): The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the
right person; it's learning to love the person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have
to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy.
And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO
to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery.
There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner).
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),
there are also laws for relationships. If you know and apply these
laws, the results are predictable. You can "make" love. Love is
therefore a "decision". Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is
up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who
you refuse to let GO!!

Fwd: Some good things to do...

Sleep well – Sleep warm, full 8 hours at a stretch.

Work hard – It relaxes. Work hard what you enjoy.

Meditate - Devote full 30 minutes every day of yours with your Mind,
with 7 chakras.

Listen - Listen to your Angels and follow what they say.

Breath Deep - avoid early mornings, they are full of Smog in cities.

Drink - only Water. Lots of Water. Only Plain Water. Lots of.

Eat well - without adulterated spices.

Diet - Good breakfast, Lighter Lunch, Lightest Dinner.

Play Music - What soothes you - all 7 notes.

Appreciate Colors - all 7 of them.

Laugh - Practice Laughing. Laugh at yourself. Laugh with kids. Laugh
with loved ones.

No Entry - Shut all 5 senses towards –ve thoughts and -ve people.

Avoid AC - Keep AC ventilator always open.