Fwd: Teen Dost

Teen Dost Thay
Phela Pathan, Dusra Madrasi aur Tesra Guju

Dostoo Ney apas main socha Ke Yar Gariboo Ko  Dan dena hai
to  App Log Kaisey Daitey Ho

Too Phela Dost Pathan Bola:

Ke Hum Khali Maidan Main Ja Kar Gol Daira Banataa Hai
Aur Asman ki taraf Paisa Uchhalta Hai
Jo Paisa Daira Ka Bhahir Jata Hai
Woo Daan  Kartta Hai
aur Joo Andar Houta Ha Woo Humara Houta Hai

Phir Madrasi Na Bola:
Ke Hum Aik Lakir Kachtta Hai, aur Paisa Uchalta Hai
Joo Paisa Left Hand Par Jatta Hai, Woh Daan  Karta Hai
Aur Joo Right Hand Par Woh Humara

Phir Guju Dost Sey Poucha Ka Woh Kaisey Daan Ka paise kaise  deta Hai,
 Tau Guju Ne
Kaha:
App Log Eisay Daan  Kartay Ho? Hum lakeer ke faqeer nahi
hai,
Hum Khali Maidan Main Jatta Hai, Aur Paisay Asman Ma Uchalta Hai Joo
Paisa Asman Ma Gaya  Woh Daan Ka Or Joo Paisa Neechay Aaya,  Woh
Humara.

Fwd: IMPACT of JOB CHANGE

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
Question. The driver screamed, lost control of the
Car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped few
Centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver
Said: "Look man, don't ever do that again. You
Scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap
Would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my
First day as a cab driver - I've been driving a
Van carrying Dead Bodies for the last 25 years...

Fwd: Management

Story 1:

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

Fox: "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"

Fox: "Hmm… But it's a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more"

Lion: "Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed"

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches"

Lion: "Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed"

The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch, which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

Wolf: "Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken"

Lion: "Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you"

Wolf: "You don't expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV"

Lion: "No problem. Do you want to try it?"

The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

Scene: Inside the lion's cave. In one corner! Are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with him self.

Moral:

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

Management Lesson

In the context of the working world:

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES. ..

  
Story 2:

It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."

Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."

Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"

They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.

Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

Wolf: "What's that you are writing?"
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves."

Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?"

Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"

The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing.

Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing?

Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."

Bear: "Well that's absurd! "

Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"

Scene: As they enter the! Burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion. 

Moral:

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

Management Lesson

In the context of the working world:

IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT... 

 

Fwd: lets smile

Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Sham: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Jailor: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Harry: Ha Ha Ha Ha!
jailor: Kyon has rahe ho?
Harry: Main to uthta hi subha 9 baje hoon!

Teacher: Translate - Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain.
Sham: The Tablets are walking in the market..

Sham 's girfriend: Meri maa aapko bahut pasand karti hai.
Sham, after a deep thought: Kuchh bhi ho jaye, shaadi to main tujhse hi
karunga!

Sham: Why has the Govt. fixed voting age 18yrs & marriage age 21yrs?
Ram: Govt. ko pata hai ki desh sambhalna aasan hai, lekin biwi ko nahi.

Sham bada dukhi tha, kisi ne pucha itni tension me kyon ho?
Sham: Ek dost ko 3 lac plastic surgery k liye diye the, ab use  pehchan
nahin pa raha

Why did Sham sleep with a scale?
Because he wanted to measure how long he has slept.

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya, gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Ram:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo..

Sham: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Ram: Are tension mat le, Zeher bharwane aya hoga...

Sham bought a car on loan... He didn't pay the dues, the bank took away his
car.
Sham: If I knew this, I'd have taken a loan for my marriage as well

Fwd: Late Working!! Ha ha ha ha