Uncanny resemblance to what I shaped like today (physically and career
wise) and below given picture graph :-(
wise) and below given picture graph :-(
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Fwd: Good one ...
An old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with
gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are
always silent. As a matter of fact, I have farted 20 times since I've been
here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they didn't
smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next
week."
After a week, the lady goes back, "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what
the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent, they stink
terribly!"
"Good!", the doctor said, now that we have cleared up your sinuses, let's
work on your hearing."
gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much. They never smell and are
always silent. As a matter of fact, I have farted 20 times since I've been
here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they didn't
smell and are silent."
The doctor says, "I see, take these pills and come back to see me next
week."
After a week, the lady goes back, "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what
the hell you gave me, but now my farts... although still silent, they stink
terribly!"
"Good!", the doctor said, now that we have cleared up your sinuses, let's
work on your hearing."
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Fwd: Join the Queue (Joke)
A man was leaving a cafe when he noticed an unusual funeral.
A funeral Coffin was followed by a second one.
Behind the second coffin was a Solitary man walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.
A funeral Coffin was followed by a second one.
Behind the second coffin was a Solitary man walking with a black dog.
Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.
The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, 'I am so sorry to disturb you,
But I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in
single line.
Whose funeral is it?'
The man replied, 'That first coffin is for my wife.'
What happened to her?'
'My dog attacked and killed her.'
'Well, who is in the second coffin?'
'My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked
And killed her also.'
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
Then the First one asks in excitement, 'Can I borrow the dog?
The man replied, 'Join the queue??????????'
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Fwd: Love Dress
A woman stopped by at her recently married son's house. She rang the
doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying
on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of
perfume filled the room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for your son to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law
answered.
'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed!
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
'Love dress? But you're naked!',
'Your son loves me to wear this dress,' she explained. 'It excites him
to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes
romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me.'
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put
on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid
on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband
came home.
He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
' It needs ironing,' he said. 'What's for dinner?'
doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying
on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of
perfume filled the room.
'What are you doing?' she asked.
'I'm waiting for your son to come home from work,' the daughter-in-law
answered.
'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed!
'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.
'Love dress? But you're naked!',
'Your son loves me to wear this dress,' she explained. 'It excites him
to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes
romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me.'
The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed, showered, put
on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid
on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband
came home.
He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.
'What are you doing?' he asked.
'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.
' It needs ironing,' he said. 'What's for dinner?'
Friday, September 12, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Fwd: Top 22 things an Indian does after returning from "US"
22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
19. Sprays the Deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead
of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every
time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y
Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by
which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll
the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one:
1.. Tries to begin conversation with - "...when I was in US ....."
21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.
20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious.
19. Sprays the Deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.
18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.
17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".
Says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds".
Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".
Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".
Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".
Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".
Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".
Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead
of Seven Zero Four)
16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every
time he steps out.
15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)
14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).
13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.
12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y
Zee(but never says Zed)
11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!!!!"
10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.
9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".
8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.
7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.
6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.
5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".
4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.
Few more important
3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by
which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.
2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll
the bag on Indian Roads.
Ultimate one:
1.. Tries to begin conversation with - "...when I was in US ....."
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