Fwd: INTELLEGENT LOVE LETTER

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1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other guys. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your gurlfriend."

However plz "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read 1.3.5.7.9.11. 13 (Odd No.'s) go read it once again but the Odd Number lines..

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Fwd: ULTIMATE INTERVIEW.

One young man went for an IAS Interview.

"When did India get independence?" He was asked.

"The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947" He
replied.

"Who was responsible for our independence?"

"There were so many. Whom to mention? If I name one, it will be a injustice
to another." He replied.

"Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?"

"Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only
after seeing the report" He replied.

The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful
answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others, since they
were planning to ask the same questions.

When he went out naturally others were curious to know what was asked. He
politely declined, but one persistent Santa would not leave him. "At least
tell me the answers" he pleaded, and our friend obliged.

Then it was the turn of this Santa. When he went inside, since his resume
was slightly illegible, the board member asked him." By the way, what is
your date of birth?"

He replied, "The effort began a few years earlier and final result was in
1947."

Somewhat puzzled, they asked another clarification. "What is your fathers
name?"

He replied, "There were so many. Whom to mention". If I name one, it will
be injustice to another".

The interviewer was incensed.

"Hey! Are you mad or what?"

He replied. "Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with
certainty only after seeing the report."

Fwd: No Smoking in The Car.....

Did you hear? Congress is debating about a new smoking law.
It will ban smoking in the car if there is a child present ...
Legislators believe that this will make children much safer.

Fwd: Kuch Dil Se....................

Boss:-
Arz kiya hai.........
Office may Kaam hote hain...
Galtiyon ka sama hota hai....
Aise mausam mein hi to PERFORMANCE jawan hota hai....
Dil ki khunnas BOSS jabaan se nahi kehte...
Ye fasana to appraisal mein bayan hota hai....

Employee's reply:-
Arz kiya hai.........
Appraisal hote hain...
Disappointment ka sama hota hai...
Aise mausam mein hi to Attrition jawan hota hai....
Dil ki khunnas HUM jabaan se nahi kehte...
Ye fasana to resignation se bayan hota hai....

Fwd: Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

A man left his cat with his brother while he went on vacation for a

week. When he came back, the man called his brother to see when he could
pick the cat up. The brother hesitated, then said, ''I'm so sorry, but
while you were away, the cat died."

The man was very upset and yelled, ''You know, you could have broken the
news to me better than that. When I called today, you could have said he
was on the roof and wouldn't come down. Then when I called the next day,
you could have said that he had fallen off and the vet was working on
patching him up. Then when I called the third day, you could have said
he had passed away.''

The brother thought about it and apologized.

"So how's Mom?" asked the man.

"She's on the roof and won't come down."

FW: Smart Women

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog told her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get it ten times!"

The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM! - she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM! - she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack!"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them!

Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good!

Male readers: Please scroll down.
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The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women think they're really smart but are actually really dumb! Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!

Fwd: Legal & Logical

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 25 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 18 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

Fwd: DOCTOR V/S ENGINEER

who is brilliant an engineer or a doctor ??

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to
Mumbai. So they both gather at Pune Station. Both
groups are desperately trying to prove their
superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :

7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7
tickets.. Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to
come...... When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one
toilet SO when TC knocks , one hand come out with the
ticket and the TC goes away....Doctors say "Dekh
lenge"

NOW on return Journey all of them don't get a direct
Train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger
till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL
to PUNE

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :

Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we too
are equally SHAANE"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket
Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..TC
arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE
OPPOSITE ONE..
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors
toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in engg Bathroom... TC DRIVES out
ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily
fined........ tai tai fissssssss..

SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA):

SO now both the group on LONAVALA station. Doctors
planning their move for last chance.. they board the
local to Pune. This time doctors decide that they will
play the same (1 ticket) trick. ALL Doctors take 1
tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time... SO
TC Comes.. All Engineers show their tickets.....
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL...........

Fwd: Height of Revenge !!

Fwd: Nice Break !!

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room.

When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,

"What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

Fwd: what old people do for fun

Fwd: Resignation Letter

Resignation Letter

A Boss looking through his Mail Box was astonished to see a mail from an
Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Client side on a critical
project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the worst premonition
he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-

Dear Sir,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving
the job. The offer was too lucrative and attractive for me to turn down. I
had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you. I am
sorry but I had no choice.

The project is working fine. There are only 108 issues pending, out of
which only 38% issues are High Priority. Hence I am sure there is no need
to worry about. The next Phase of major enhancements I have been working
upon, have been completed halfway. I am sure the new person who would
replace me would not understand what all I had done so far. Hence, for his
and your convenience, I have taken care to remove all the work that I had
been doing this far for nearly 3 months now. I am sure you will appreciate
my insight and "big heart".

I am of course retaining the Originals that I had retrieved for the purpose
of Passport verification with me, considering it as a parting gift from
you. Of course, I will not pay the bond amount that I owe the company
(since I Am breaking the bond). But I will consider this as a parting gift
from our Dear company. I moving out of town since the new company is
situated in another City.

Also, I have changed my contact number. So you will not be able to get in
touch with me, to congratulate me. But I know your blessings are always
with me. Last but not the least. I also have the Rs 12000 entrusted to me
by our company's cultural events group, for the upcoming movie event. I am
sure you would have wanted me to keep it with myself as an added bonus from
our company. I respect you very much, hence your wish is my command.

Don't worry sir. I am 2 years experienced now, learning so much from your
company. So I will surely use this knowledge to write better programs for
the new company. Someday I'm sure we will meet sometime in the future. If
you wish, I will surely be glad to give my employee reference for you to
apply for a job in the new company which I am joining.

Your faithful employee,
S. W. Engineer


At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the
Boss read:

PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at
client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in
life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this
mail. Please approve it and call when it is safe for me to come to our
Office to discuss this. My respect and Best Regards to you!

Fwd: Rain Washed

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in mall. She must have been 6
years old, this beautiful brown eyes, freckle faced image of innocence. It
was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain
gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down
the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of
the mall.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their
hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound
and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world.
Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a
welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all
caught in, "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said. "What?" Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated, "Mom, let's run
through the rain."

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl
said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get
wet?"

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you
said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!'"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything
but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few
minutes. Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now
some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even
ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young
child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will
bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If God let's
us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as they
darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping
bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed
by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can
take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can
ever take away your precious memories... So, don't forget to make time and
take opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything there is a
season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

Fwd: Opportunity